Coffee House: A Tale of the EunSoo Ship

I’m sharing a comment that was posted in Dramabeans made by pipit .

It was so beautifully written that it really tugs in your heartstrings. Yes, it even made me cry. It was such an awesome well done insightful take on JinSoo’s feelings towards EunYoung.  Bravo!

Here it goes:

Despite all that happened (the heart breaking scenes) between Eun Young and Jin Soo, I’m more convinced than ever that Jin Soo is really in love with Eun Young. I mean really, really in love with her. His love is definitely THE LOVE that exists when man falls in love with a woman.

This is what we should know first in order to understand CH and Jin Soo better:

CH is not about how the hero and heroine fall for each other but rather of how they come to terms with their emotions. So stop expecting or questioning when the romance is to begin. We wouldn’t see the process of how Jin Soo falls in love with Eun Young because he has already loved her for a very long time. He was already in love with her when he introduced JW to her. And he was still very much in love with her when he married her best friend!

He more than other people understands very well what Eun Young said when she told him: ‘Although I always smile and look cheerful it doesn’t mean that I don’t get hurt’. No one knows better than him how hard that is. And it pains him that Eun Young has to experience it because of him! His precious Eun Young, the one who matter most in his life, his reason for living now has to suffer because of him.

That’s why he broached the subject of leaving. He thinks it’s better for Eun Young if he’s not around. For hurting her is the lasting that he wants to do. He’s at war with himself. He wants to leave her because he doesn’t want to hurt her, but how could he leave her if he couldn’t live without her?

Now, if he was in love with Eun Young why did he introduce JW to her? Why married her best friend?

Jin Soo has answered the first question. He said: ‘I was immature.’ Meaning he was not man enough then to handle things the way it should be.

I guess when he realized his feelings for Eun Young the first thing that came to his mind was how to find a perfect solution. Perhaps by doing the most straight forward way by telling her that he loves her.

But then being such a cheerful and open person that she was he saw that Eun Young loved him just as her best friend. Not as a man. So, loving her as much as he did he didn’t want to risk their friendship (he couldn’t bear the thought of losing Eun Young his best friend as well as Eun Young the woman he was desperately and irrevocably in love with)… thus he ended up keeping his feelings to himself. This was where everything started to go wrong!

Before proceeding I’d like to tell you what convinces me that Jin Soo has already been in love with Eun Young for a long time. The big revelation happens in the cinema. When Jin Soo, SY and DW watched the movie.

At first when Jin Soo saw the way DW looked at him he found it very amusing. But his amusement swiftly disappeared when he remembered exactly how it felt when while you’re enjoying yourself with the girl that you love a third person came to ruin it. His light mood disappeared as he’s once again being reminded of the one thing that he tries so hard to forget: how much he loves Eun Young.

I love the scene when Jin Soo and Eun Young were sitting on the bench talking and laughing freely and happily just the two of them before JW came charging right into the space between them. His expressions when he looked at Eun Young and JW clearly showed how he felt about her. He’s hurt but Eun Young was happy. But as long as Eun Young was happy with JW he’s all right. Or so he tried to convince himself.

Their situation will explain the difference in their flash back regarding Eun Young hair dos. Eun Young saw herself with a bang reflecting her innocent love of friendship with Jin Soo. While Jin Soo himself saw Eun Young with her long hair down reflecting that he saw her as a woman even then.

I guess when Jin Soo introduced JW to Eun Young he never thought that Eun Young would fall for JW! What he didn’t know was that Eun Young’s easy acceptance of JW was because JW was ‘introduced/recommended’ by him!

Now, it wasn’t even possible to confess his feelings for Eun Young seemed to be happy and in love with JW. It hurt to be in their vicinity. But he couldn’t tear himself from Eun Young either. He would die without her.

So he tried to repress his love for Eun Young, to pretend that it doesn’t even exist, that it never happened, that they’re just friends. He fervently hoped that by seeing Eun Young and JW together his feelings for her will disappear. Unfortunately he loved her just as much as before.

And then her best friend falls for him. Jin Soo saw it as a perfect solution to solve his problem. By marrying her he would cut off whatever hopes he still entertained in the deepest part of his heart for Eun Young’s love.

But at the same time, by marrying her best friend he could still be close enough to her. Although they’re not together he needed to see her, to hear about her just from time to time to know how’s she doing. So, he married her best friend only to realize too little too late that he still loved Eun Young just the same. That’s when he accepted the final truth that his heart belongs to her. Forever.

He’s doomed. He committed the biggest mistake of his life. Not only he managed to ruin his own life for good. He’s hurting Eun Young’s best friend in the process. Eun Young would never forgive him if she ever found out. She would never understand why he did what he did. Knowing Eun Young, he could hear just her saying: ‘If you love me why didn’t you tell me? Why introduce your friend to me? And why did you marry my best friend?’

Jin Soo was in hell but so did Hee Sook. She finally realized that her husband the charming guy who stole her heart wasn’t in love with her at all! The divorce was inevitable. The suicide came later when she found out who Jin Soo really loved. I guess that knowledge served as the death blow since she really loved Jin Soo.

That was why the guilt that plagued Jin Soo was way beyond the normal guilt experienced by those who were left behind. That was why her death nearly drove him into insanity and early grave. Selfish as he was he’s basically a good man and decent man. A man with an equally good conscience. He had used an innocent woman made her life miserable and now she’s dead because of him. How could he live knowing all these? He couldn’t.

The only thing that had the power to bring him back to the land of the living was Eun Young. The sight of her white stricken face when he opened his eyes was his undoing or should I say his wake up call. He couldn’t go on and continue to live his life with all these painful things in his chest. But if Eun Young wanted him to live, live he will.

So, that’s how he lives his life from then on. Close to Eun Young. But not too close. He puts their professional relationship as a wall/bridge to erect or draw at his disposal. He comes to her side when we feels strong enough to be in her vicinity or almost dying because of lack of contact with her or when he was worried about her. Only to disappear again when his feelings are too strong to control and he couldn’t put a convincing façade to the world.

When JW comes and tries to barge into Eun Young’s life again Jin Soo is incensed. His childish mean prank against JW wasn’t childish at all. It was premeditated revenge against JW for hurting Eun Young. And his insult to JW on the top of the cliff was coming from the bottom of his heart. He told SY that it takes a lot of time and energy to hurt other people and that one should choose which battle to fight. So he does. His battle with JW is personal.

When SY asked if Jin Soo’s fighting JW on the boxing ring has other reason besides what he gave her. He doesn’t like it at all. It reminds him of the fact that he’s supposed not to love her. It reminds him that he becomes lack in guarding his secrets if even SY could question his motives.

He failed and made a colossal mistake once. But this time even if it kills him Eun Young is never to know what’s inside his heart. She is never to know all these emotions and pains that he keeps under tight lock inside his heart. He brushes off any questions regarding the motives of his actions towards Eun Young with witty response. It’s paramount to him nobody knows how much he loves Eun Young. Specially Eun Young herself.

But no matter how strong his will and determination are his repressed love refuses to be kept hidden and somehow it’s able to find its own way to the surface. And these were the times when he started blurting things (the insincere words and false concerns as them perceived by Eun Young) like:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-You never consider me as a man. (His heart was saying please look at me as a man)
-You can’t dump me for who would look after me if you no longer care. (His heart was saying don’t ever leave me, I can’t not live without you)
-If you dump me what will I write for? Why would I write (his heart is saying don’t you know that the reason I continue living is you? That you’re everything to me what would I do without you?)
-Tell me, what’s wrong. (Please my darling don’t be sad, I’m hurt when you’re hurt)
-What’s bothering you? Are you okay? (I’m here for you. Don’t you know I’d do anything just to make you happy?)

 

I’ve got to say the part that I love most in CH is finding out what Jin Soo really means when he says something to Eun Young. I’m very excited when these two are together on scene while my poor heart is hyperventilating trying to choose which Jin Soo’s sentence is the sincere one and which one is his armor.

But despite Jin Soo’s excellent mastery of his own emotions, things have their way to run off course. He almost had a heart attack when Eun Young started to physically touch him when she wants to convince JW that they’re dating (he already told SY that he is against this idea very vehemently).

His heart almost dropped to the floor when she said she was going to kiss him. He was terribly afraid. He’s never been that afraid in his entire life. He managed to gather his wit long enough to find a perfect solution. But…

Later when she kissed him in that phone booth he didn’t see it coming.

The moment she put her arms around him, the moment her lips touched his, he lost it. His hell disappears into nothingness along with his wits and will power. He was in heaven. God… if she didn’t pull back in surprise he wasn’t sure that he would have the strength to walk away. Not when he wanted so much to be in her arms just like that.

The realization came to him in a slow motion. He just made his second big mistake!

Jin Soo has no other choice but to try to kill Eun Young suspicion early in the bud by saying ridiculous things that he knew would hurt her. He also tries to brush off their awkwardness by acting normal. But Eun Young isn’t the one to hide from problems. She’s one of those who’d rather faces them straight on. I love the way she grab Jin Soo by his neck collar when he tried to run away out of the elevator.

What a great woman!

That trip to the roof top is Jin Soo’s trip to guillotine. He tried his best to offer alternatives to their problem. Meanwhile making sure that she would never guess his true feelings. Hurting her is the lasting in this world he want to do, but that’s what he ends up doing.

Ahh, poor Jin Soo…..

I guess his remark to Eun Young saying that she’s a very strong girl who would bounce back whenever she falls, actually has opposite meaning. He is afraid that she would not be strong enough and would never recover if she ever learnt the truth. He’s afraid that she couldn’t handle the guilt that would inevitably come with that knowledge. That’s why he’ll do everything in his power to protect her from that hurt. He could bear the pain and the guilt for the rest of his life. But he wouldn’t let Eun Young be tainted by these toxic emotions. It’s okay for him to suffer alone, but not his precious Eun Young.

SY has hit the mark when she asks him why did he has to keep everything inside, why not share it with some body so he could feel much better. I think Jin Soo is touched by that. But if Jin Soo could answer that statement he would probably say:

What good does it do if I share it with you it wouldn’t change a thing. Telling you would be equal to telling Eun Young herself.

And he’s right!

When he starts to think that there’s some hope for her after all SY told Eun Young his biggest secret of all:

She told Eun Young that he cares for her. That her disappearance almost killed him. Eun Young would know right away that he couldn’t live without her! She would know he loves lover. It only a matter of time before she finds out how long he’s been in love with her!

His own secretary! The one who is supposed to guard his secret has revealed the one that matter most to him!

He couldn’t imagine how he would go on without Eun Young, but now that Eun Young has learnt from how much he cares for her. He has no other choice but to let her go even if it kills him bit by bit. He already went extra mile to prevent her breaking their contract to prevent her from leaving him because he couldn’t live without her. But now….

Poor Jin Soo……..my heart breaks into pieces too.

==================================

What’s more is that I found a video in YT with the song “Bring Me to Life” that’s so befitting our EunSoo couple.

Cr: Psychosindayellow@YT

“Bring Me To Life”
(Evanescence)

how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

now that I know what I’m without
you can’t just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

Bring me to life
(I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside)
Bring me to life

frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead

all this time I can’t believe I couldn’t see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don’t let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)

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